Monday, August 11, 2008

"we would have only let you gain 25 pounds . . . "

So, I finally found my doctors today. They were all very caring at the clinic - it was clean, nobody suddenly started speaking another language in front of me then burst into laughter with the other non-english speakers . . . The doctor didn't suddenly leave the exam room - with the door wide open - or advise me to take a toxic amount of supplements . . . and I can deliver at the hospital that has private recovery rooms!! And working elevators! And free parking! And the towels don't look 20 years old! Yay!! What a relief!
My only criticism was the program director's quote of the day, "It's never too late, but, we would have only let you gain 25 pounds . . . "
"Ha!" I though - "you would have failed, because I gained 25 pounds before even realizing I was pregnant. Ha!"
When I sadly admitted that I gained well over 100 pounds with my first pregnancy, and was only able to drop 65 to 70 before getting pregnant again . . . she told me that was actually really good. Some people don't take any weight off in between, and part of the post-natal care they will provide involves an exercise group, nutritional classes, and weight loss support appointments. Her plan for the next 29 days is surprisingly aggressive and strict. No sugar, no fat, no fast food, and not even diet soda!! No diet soda!? Aw man!
So far, this clinic far exceeds the expensive health care we were paying for all those years. Thank you, tax payers . . .

Here is a picture of "steve"here is a picture of what I thought "Steve" might look like . . .
Maybe with some color, and a blow-dry, a little hard wax . . . I guess it's essentially the same cut.
The good news is that I washed it last night before bed, and that was it. No conditioners, no 45 minutes drying, no sore arm from straightening, no smelly smoothers or hair sprays . . . and I like how the bangs hide the nasty Melasma on my forehead.
(Don't worry belly fans . . . my next post will have a shot of the boo-bah belly._


Jessica said...

See I told you. Thank goodness for taxpayers! TAKE ADVANTAGE of EVERYTHING! Oh and get that $400 IUD after at the taxpayers expense also. It is awesome! It sounds like a great place!

I LOVE THE HAIR!!! Like I said before, you look good with any cut or color. I always liked it when you had shorter hair.

BDawg said...

Is it possible to have a baby and only gain 25 pounds? I've never been pregnant, but I have put on 25 pounds, which makes me think that carrying around a baby, placenta, fluid, etc. would justify more than 25 lbs.

Ugh. I've got just a couple days at my job so things are slow. How do you pass the time being pregers?

Kimberly said...

lots of blogging . . .
The clinic I'm now going to for pre-natal care understands the "pass the time" thing very well, and they have classes for me to go to 3 times a week, plus my doctor's appointment each week - so that's 4 days of at least one thing to distract me. Plus, Ezri is very good at entertaining me. And Netflix . . . now we have this whole wrecked car thing to do . . . it's not so bad. The days are going by fast. I thought it would be worse, no disposable income for entertainment and all . . . but we have a pool here, and a great neighborhood park, and we still have cable - so it's been pretty fun.

Let me tell you, 25 pounds in your butt or thighs is nothing like wedging 25 pounds into your pelvis and abdomen. One big difference between just gaining weight and having a baby in there is the pressure on all the organs. Man, it's a lot harder to have your heart and lungs compressed and try to get out of a chair with virtually no abdominal support . . . than to get around with a big butt.

There was a big chart "where the weight goes" for the 25 pounds. What I remember:
7 to 10 pounds: actual baby
2 pounds: breasts (it didn't say 'each', so I guess one lb each?)
3 pounds: extra blood
2 pounds: placenta
2 pounds: amniotic fluid
5 pounds: retained water

The rest is fat fat fat . . . so basically they were saying they wouldn't have let me gain any more fat - I had enough to begin with.

My tiny sister-in-law, who had a baby one year ago, and by the way, was in a string bikini at Tahoe looking like an Olympic athlete, probably didn't even gain 25 pounds. People do it. I'm not sure how, but they do.

Valerie said...

I love the hair! Glad you get a private room, too.

BDawg said...

Reed's wife had her baby and maybe gained 10 pounds the whole time. Then again, she had her baby many weeks early, so she kind of cheated.

Sara said...

I only gained 25 pounds with the twins. That said, I gained 35 pounds with Tyler. I'm pretty sure that the twins had started to eat me alive by the time they were born, not to mention the work they did on me during the whole breastfeeding stage. By the way, I really love your new haircut, it looks really cute on you.

Kimberly said...

sara, that is freaking amazing to me!!